Back in May, I made a goal for myself to write a blog post every Monday. For a solid 3-4 weeks, I was crushing that goal. However, the Universe smacked me in the face with some reality checks and I had to turn my focus on getting out of a toxic environment and learn how to live by myself. In the end, however, this ignited my spiritual awakening journey towards finding my true self, growing more into that, and working through the things that lowered my vibration.
Exactly one week before San Diego shut down businesses and imposed a quarantine, my boyfriend and I broke up. The sticky part of it was that we lived together. This forced me indoors with him almost immediately after I conjured the courage to finally close off something that was no longer serving either of us. Yes, the first few months were rocky, but they were also relieving. We had the space and time to discuss things we were afraid to while we were together. Our friendship began to rekindle.
Ultimately the simultaneous breakup and quarantine triggered my first spiritual awakening. At this point, I had been spinning poi for about 5 months – it’s my “quarantine activity.” This newfound passion and hobby, amongst other variables (covid, the living sitch, surrounded by Chinese Medicine students, etc.), taught how to look inward and meditate. It was extremely difficult and slow in the beginning, but over time it did get easier. The more I did it, the more I began reaping the rewards, exponentially increasing the healing. For the first time in about 2 years of my life, I started to feel confident and empowered.
There got to a point where I had meditated and processed most of the relationship, breakup, and affects it all had on me. I felt I had received the closure I was seeking. Only thing left I knew I had to do was find a new apartment to live in – I understood I needed to move out for me to collect the energy to grow and completely move on.
The apartment was my first experience with successful manifestation. During a meditation, I focused on what I was looking for in my next apartment: within the same area I was living, laundry in the facility, gated parking, not on the first floor, had a separate spaces to work and to sleep. I texted my landlord explaining how I was looking for a studio or 1 bedroom apartment to see if he managed any. That same day he called to see if I wanted to go see a place 2 blocks away. Within 10 days I was moving into a 2-story apartment, second and third floor, with a gated garage and on-site laundry. I thought I had done most of my healing, but I quickly realized it was only the beginning.
Isolating yourself and moving in the middle of a pandemic is high-key one of the most effective ways to immerse yourself into a more intense spiritual awakening… trust me. Do you want to learn a fuck-ton about yourself? Live alone. For the first time ever, I was able to be in a space that I completely control. It was my tabula rasa to create a life I wanted to live! And I had no choice but to sit with myself and figure out what makes me happy and how truly take care of myself for the utmost fulfillment.
Flash forward to today, 6 and a half months later, and I am now pretty much anxiety and depression free. A year ago, I never thought I would be able to feel this way regularly. Investing time into learning about manifestation, spirituality, law of attraction, and most importantly, how to consistently only rely on myself to make me happy is WORK. I dedicate at least 4 hours of my day towards working on myself – mind, body, and spirit. But once this work became habit, my perspective on life has been filled with nothing but beauty, positivity, and love.
I can go on and on talking about all the lessons I’ve learned over the past year. 2020 sucked for most, and my heart goes out to all of those who have been struggling with or affected by the global situation, but it was my best year yet. I grew more than I’ve ever grown and I am beyond grateful for the wisdom, people, and love I’ve been able to find within myself, for myself, throughout it.
Spirituality has been part of my life for about a year now, and pretty much my main focus in 2021. I would love to connect and hear more about your stories and spiritual awakening.
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